


Getting Checked Out

by literaryoblivion



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [71]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkwardness, Doctor Derek, Doctor/Patient, Embarrassed Stiles, Embarrassment, M/M, Medical, Patient Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2241915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryoblivion/pseuds/literaryoblivion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles goes to the emergency room for something incredibly embarrassing and his doctor is hot, which makes it even more embarrassing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Checked Out

**Author's Note:**

> I received the following prompt on tumblr: "omg I'd love Sterek and an embarrassing medical examination... I don't care who of the two is the doc and who is the patient, but embarrassing ftw! x"
> 
> Fair warning, this is incredibly embarrassing, and I actually took it from a real-life even I saw on a medical reality show. I just altered a few of the details.
> 
> The tumblr post for this can be found [here](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com/post/92873711218/omg-id-love-sterek-and-an-embarrassing-medical).

This is bad. This is so bad. Why had he let Scott talk him into going with him on an alcohol-fueled, sex-filled vacation?! It’s not like he even slept with that many people, only a few, and most of it was just mutual hand jobs and blow jobs, and okay so a couple of them might have been more than that, but it’s all kind of a blur…

The point is, he should have put his foot down and told Scott no. He should have stayed at school and studied like he had planned. But noooo, Scott had to use his puppy dog eyes to convince him to go to some mock-Burning Man/Coachella event in the woods with booze and scantily clad women and men who were just looking for a good time.

This is what he gets for saying yes.

What is that? Oh it’s just that he has a rather painful, itchy rash (well he thinks it’s a rash, who the hell knows what it is) all over his ummm private parts, ok so specifically on his penis, and it hurts so bad and he had no choice. He had to go to the doctor. It could be some serious STI and like he could have sworn he used condoms but again… booze. This is terrible. He’s never agreeing to go with Scott anywhere ever again.

And just when Stiles thought his life couldn’t get any worse, the doctor finally walks in.

"Hi, Stiles, I’m Doctor Hale. What seems to be the problem?" he says around a smile, looking down at the chart that the nurse had filled out with Stiles.

Shit. This doctor is hot. Like so incredibly hot, and Stiles wants to die. Maybe he should have just taken his chances and bought every kind of over-the-counter topical cream he could and just slathered it on, taken an oatmeal bath (that works for other things besides chicken pox, right?), and called it good. He hates Scott so much right now.

"Oh," Doctor Hale says, after he’s read through the chart. "I’m afraid I will have to take a look for myself. If you would…" He gestures to Stiles’s pants (which took him forever to put on because it hurt so effing bad).

"Uh, right," Stiles says, his face beat red. He is never stepping foot in this clinic ever again when this is all over. Never again. He slowly stands from the examining table and does his best to gingerly pull down his pants, but he winces and hisses the entire time because every brush of fabric against his genitals is killing him.

Doctor Hale waits, sitting in his stool until Stiles has his pants around his knees. He wheels himself over when Stiles is done, and even he winces in sympathy when he sees the state of Stiles’s dick. It’s not pretty. Not that it was before, Stiles likes to think maybe it was but honestly it’s not like people were praising him left and right for his junk, but now they definitely wouldn’t be.

"Well, all the preliminary tests for the standard STIs we ran all came back negative. That’s not to say we can completely rule it out as a few other tests take a little longer to get results, but in my opinion, from what I can tell, I’m not sure this is an STI."

Stiles nods, hoping and praying that it’s not one. He’s also hoping and praying that he doesn’t get a boner from this sex god of a doctor staring at his crotch because 1) that would be super embarrassing and 2) it would hurt like hell.

Doctor Hale continues, “Now it says on your chart that you just got back from a camping trip?”

"Uh… yeah." In the loosest sense of the definition, sure.

"Do you know if you came into contact with any strange plants?"

Stiles opens his mouth to immediately answer that no he didn’t, but then stops himself because actually he might have now that he remembers.

"Actually… I do remember something." Derek stares and waits for Stiles to go on. "Okay, so I was pretty drunk, alright, so I don’t remember a whole lot. But, I do remember getting up in the middle of the night to go pee and I wanted to kind of get out away from everyone, so I might have passed through some bushes and stuff on my way?"

Derek nods. “And then you used your hand to remove your penis from your pants to urinate?”

God he’s so clinical and cavalier about it, and Stiles doesn’t quite know what to do with that, so he just bobs his head a few times guiltily.

"And then went back to sleep and didn’t wash your hands in some way?"

"Uhh, it’s not like there’s a sink the woods, so no."

"Uh huh. I believe, Stiles, that you brushed your hand against poison ivy, before relieving yourself, and those oils transferred to your genitals."

Stiles breathes out a sigh of relief because hey at least it’s not some disease he’s going to die from or have to live uncomfortably with for the rest of his life.

"Okay, so can you give me something for that? That’ll make it go away so I can get back to… you know… certain other activities?"

The doctor chuckles, “While I’m sure you have a long list of people waiting to be with you during those  _activities,_ I don’t have a quick fix.” He looks at Stiles like he’s waiting to confirm his suspicions about Stiles having a line of people waiting to ride his dick. Stiles’s eyes widens, and he doesn’t want to look like a loser with no prospects so he tries to look smug when he shrugs in answer.

The doctor continues, “I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to wait it out. I can give you some antihistamines and some cortizone cream, and I recommend taking short lukewarm baths and not to itch. But other than that, you’ll have to wait. I also highly recommend you do not have sexual intercourse until it’s completely gone.”

"Wasn’t planning on it," Stiles mutters.

Derek pats him on the leg, and oh yeah his pants are totally still down. Derek rolls away to get his pad from the counter, and Stiles pulls his pants back up. Once they’re up, Derek rips a piece of paper from the pad and hands it over to Stiles.

"It’ll probably be gone in a week. If not, come back and we’ll run some other tests. I think I’m right though. I’m sorry about the rash, it looks painful."

Derek stands from his stool and holds open the door for Stiles to step out. “The nurse at the desk at the end of the hall will take care of your payment.” Stiles nods and turns to leave, but before he does the doctor calls his name.

"Yeah?"

"Uh… when everything’s all cleared up… if there’s ever a spot open on that list of yours, let me know," he says with a wink before stepping into another examining room.

It takes a minute to realize what he’s talking about, and when he does Stiles fist punches the air.

It’s good to know his dick is impressive even with blisters on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://literaryoblivion.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/lit_oblivion).


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